Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
