Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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