The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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