Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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