Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
that may or may not have been my penis.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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