I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
