Jerry, you need to find god
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
