ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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