I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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