I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
