I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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