is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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