I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
