He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
