you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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