Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
