just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone came in the potted fern
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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