don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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