I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
