She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
