So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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