i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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