my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
