Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
