im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
