Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he puts the penis in happiness.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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