Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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