party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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