Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize