Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
