Porn is love you can see.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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