I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
