How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
