I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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