I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I would ride that face into the sunset
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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