let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
