I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
