is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
