I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
