Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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