I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
