I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
