I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
