I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
