Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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