found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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