OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
