I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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