But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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