he thought i was a dude.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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