we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize