new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
