Nicole vs. Life
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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