We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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