Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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