you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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