"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
