it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
