It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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