I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
