you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
