I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
