I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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