You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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