tonight lets celebrate not being married
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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