I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
