it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Two words: blizzard sex
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
