i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
