"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
