Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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