The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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