Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
