I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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