This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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