Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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