3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you still have your period?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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