no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
