You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize